Providing Assistance to a Person Who Has a Drinking Problem

Is someone you care about struggling with alcoholism? The effects of alcohol consumption or alcoholism on a loved one can be excruciating and difficult for the entire family to manage, but there is assistance that can be obtained in such a situation. 

The Effects That Excessive Drinking Has on One’s Loved Ones and Friends

Alcoholism commonly referred to as “alcohol use disorder,” is a condition that has repercussions not only for the individual who consumes alcohol but also for their loved ones and family members. It may be just as heartbreakingly difficult as it is aggravating to watch a friend or loved member battle with a drinking issue when you are that person.

Someone you care about may be upsetting the balance of your family life by ignoring their obligations, getting themselves into monetary and legal trouble, or disrespecting or even assaulting you and other members of the household. 

Being a witness to the drinking of a beloved and the subsequent breakdown of your relationship can bring on a variety of uncomfortable feelings, including humiliation, fear, anger, and the feeling that you are to blame for the situation. Your loved one’s addiction may be so overpowering that it makes it seem simpler to dismiss it and act like there’s nothing wrong. However, in the long term, ignoring it will simply bring more damage not just to you but also to your loved one who is struggling with the issue as well as the remainder of your household. 

You Must Keep in Mind That You Are Not the Only One Going Through This Challenge

Alcoholism and alcohol abuse afflicts millions of individuals worldwide, spanning all socioeconomic classes, racial and ethnic groups, and cultural traditions. However, there is assistance that can be obtained. Even while you can’t undertake the hard work of beating addiction for a loved one, the love, patience, and support you show them can make a significant contribution to their successful long-term recovery. You will be able to help alleviate the pain of a loved one, maintain your psychological health and well-being, and bring peace and consistency back into your partnership and home life if you follow these instructions. 

Identifying the Indications That There is an Issue

Consuming alcoholic beverages is an everyday activity for a large number of people. It is generally legal and considered normal and acceptable for a person of legal drinking age to consume alcoholic beverages. However, because alcohol has such a wide range of effects on different people, it is not always simple to determine whether or not the drinking habits of a loved one have progressed beyond moderate, sociable drinking to abusive levels of alcohol use. There isn’t a set quantity that can definitively determine whether or not a person has a drinking disorder. Instead, it is determined by how alcohol impacts the life of someone you care about. 

To calm their nerves in the face of mounting pressure brought on by factors such as the ongoing pandemic, unstable economic conditions, and high levels of unemployment, many individuals are consuming more than they did in the past. Even if it is simple to comprehend, this should not be any less of a concern to you. Drinking alcohol as a method of relieving stress, overcoming challenges, or warding off negative feelings could be an indication that the drinking habits of a loved one have become problematic. If any of the following apply to your loved one, they may have a problem with alcohol: 

• They habitually shirk their duties at home, in the workplace, or at school because they are either drinking or sobering up from having a drinking problem. 
• Binge drink or consume significantly more alcohol than they had planned. 
• Lie about how much they’re drinking or make an effort to conceal it. 
• When someone is under the influence of alcohol, they may experience blackouts or forget everything they said or did. 
• Drink even though it’s generating difficulties in their connections with you and others, and keep drinking even though it’s producing those problems. 
• Consuming alcohol as a means of self-medicating a mental health condition such as anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder is considered self-medication. 

If you suspect that a person you care about has a drinking problem and you have noticed any of the warning signals associated with alcoholism, the first thing you should do to assist them is to educate yourself on the subject of addiction and alcohol misuse. You will be able to have a conversation with the person you care about their alcoholism and provide the necessary assistance and information when you have completed your investigation on the many treatment options and self-help choices that are available to them. 

Helpful Things to Keep in Mind When Having a Conversation With a Person About Their Drinking

Find a moment when both you and your loved one are sober, peaceful, and able to concentrate on the task at hand. Pick a location that is peaceful and secluded, one in which you won’t be disturbed, and make sure that your phone and any other electronic gadgets are turned off so that you can concentrate. 

Communicate Your Worries in a Sympathetic Manner

Talk to the person you care about and your concerns about how their drinking is affecting their well-being, your relationship, and the rest of the family as a whole. Instead of passing judgment on your loved one’s actions or attempting to humiliate them, make an effort to maintain compassion and stay neutral. 

Invite Them to A Discussion

Invite the individual you care about to discuss the factors that led to the development of their alcohol abuse problem. Are they, to give just a few examples, anxious, stressed out, restless, or lonely? It’s possible that their drinking is caused by several different things, but to maintain their sobriety, your loved one needs to treat any underlying problems. 

A Family Intervention

If you would rather not handle this on your own, you may organize a meeting with your family or stage an intervention. Again, everybody needs to approach the situation from a loving perspective rather than viewing it as an occasion to harass, accuse, or release their wrath toward the individual who has a problem with drinking. 

Things to Stay Away From

Avoid Taking Any Unpleasant Comments or Reactions to Heart

You may need to make a few efforts before you can start a genuine dialogue about your loved one’s drinking with them. Prepare yourself for resistance and rejection. Give the individual some time and room to process her worries and begin to view the issue from their perspective. 

Do Not Attempt to Lecture, Scare, Penalize, or Bribe Them

Refrain from making emotional arguments with a problem drinker since this will simply exacerbate their guilt feelings and make them feel more compelled to drink. Give them your counsel rather than a list of demands. 

Don’t Makeup Excuses

You shouldn’t give excuses for the actions of the person you care about or try to cover up for them. They won’t be able to recognize the harmful effects of their drinking if you try to hide them from their obligations, and it can take them longer to decide to get treatment for their alcohol issue. 

You Shouldn’t Be the One to Blame

You are not at fault for the drinking issue of a loved one, you are not guilty or accountable for the actions of this person, and you are unable to influence this person to change. 

Encouragement of a Loved One to Seek Professional Assistance

Expecting someone you care about to beat a drinking problem on their own is unrealistic. Even if individuals do not require medical intervention to withdraw from alcohol effectively, they will nevertheless require help, direction, and the development of new coping mechanisms to reduce or eliminate their alcohol consumption. You can motivate your relative or friend to seek assistance by doing the following: 

• You could offer to go with them to their visits with the physician, to group sessions, or counseling sessions. 
• Being there with them as they seek guidance from a hotline and providing company. 
• Developing a solid plan with them, outlining the specific adjustments they will make and how they will implement them. 
• Your duty does not end when the person you care about decides to get assistance.

The process of recovery is one that never ends and requires both time and patience. Someone who has a problem with alcohol will not miraculously transform into a different person after they’ve stopped drinking. They will come up against a whole new set of obstacles. They will have to come up with novel approaches to life that do not involve the consumption of alcohol, and they will also need to address the issues in their lives that initially prompted them to abuse alcohol. However, if you continue to love and encourage them, they will be able to reach their goals. 

To Give Up or to Dial Back?

Not everybody who consumes excessive amounts of alcohol is an addict. It is possible that your loved one, based on the extent of their drinking issue and the amount of control they have over their drinking, will be able to cut back on their alcohol consumption to a level that is more conducive to good health instead of giving up drinking entirely. 

If the objective of a person you care about is to cut down on the amount of alcohol they consume, you may lend your support by assisting them in establishing new boundaries and offering practical advice on how to adhere to those limitations. What will your friend or family member do rather than drinking alcohol, say, if they commit to abstain from alcohol completely at least twice a week? On the days that they do give themselves permission to drink, what strategies do they have in place to ensure that they do not drink beyond the recommended healthy limits of one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men? 

Assist the person you care about in putting their drinking objectives in writing and coming up with a plan to achieve them. These might include refraining from drinking in the comfort of one’s own home, pausing for a short period between beverages, steering clear of negative influences, and seeking out new hobbies and social circles that do not center on alcohol use.